There are few things in life that I truly fear. Besides being afraid of the dark (yes, I am 23 years old and still sleep with all the lights on if I am home alone), my biggest fear is probably the fear of failure. The type-A personality inside of me always wants to be seen as successful, especially in my running, and so I have a tendency to hold back from sharing my goals and dreams of the future with others.
I even have a system before a race where I set three different goal times…  One that I tell every/anyone that asks,  another that I only share with those really close to me (a.k.a. Henri and my coach) and  a third, my REAL goal, that nobody knows except me. That way if I don’t achieve my real goal only I’ll know that I “failed”.
But I don’t want to be like this anymore! Instead I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman, who is clothed in dignity and has no fear of the future.
I really feared failure when I started Will Run for Boston. What if I wasn’t good at the whole blogging thing? Who would really want to read about me/my life? How would I feel if my blog was a total failure? But I conquered those fears and ever since I started blogging I’ve slowly learned to open up about my dreams – like breaking 3-hours in the marathon this year and all my 2014 Goals! It is a learning process, but so far all I have seen is that good can come from sharing your goals and kicking the fear of failure to the curb.
In the spirit of continuing this learning process, I have some really BIG news to tell you today. I have been debating about whether or not to share for a few weeks but since I know that you (and all my “real life” family and friends) will love me and support me even if nothing comes of this – I am going to go for it, and conquer another small bit of my fear (little by little, am I right?).
This Friday I am flying home for a job interview! It is for an accounting position at the church I grew up in and would enable Henri and I to move home this APRIL! As much as I love Southern California, nothing beats the seasons of New England or being closer than a 6-hour flight to see your family.
I am looking forward to a fun weekend with these girls and hope that I will be home again soon – for MUCH longer than four days!
BIG CHANGES COULD BE COMING! Stay tuned. 🙂
How do you conquer the fear of failure?
Do you live close to your family?
Have any helpful interview advice you’d like to share?